What are some of the practical and spiritual aspects that a couple should consider about their wedding? About their marriage life? About starting their own family?
These were among the questions that were explored during a recent marriage seminar that took place at Hana Christian Center. Unlike most seminars that are structured in a lecture-like format, this seminar was carried out more like a talk show, with a host who moderated the program and interviewed several speakers, including missionary and pastor Young Taek Yoo, and wedding coordinator Esther Kim of My Bride Story.
This marriage seminar -- which took place on Valentine’s Day -- actually comes as the first in a series of seminars that Pastor Jonathan Lee of Hana Christian Center is planning on organizing, all centered around the theme of family.
“I’m actually very passionate about ministry with youth,” Lee said. “But the key to youth ministry is the family, and promoting healthy families. That’s how I decided to start this family project series.”
Pastor Young Taek Yoo shared mostly about marriage life, and the lessons he learned about having a healthy relationship with his spouse.
“Love is commitment,” Yoo said when asked what ‘love’ means for him. “It’s serving the other person, and sacrificing your own desires.”
Yoo, who often does marital counseling, shared that couples who decide to get married in hopes to fill their own desires or needs often find themselves disappointed in their marriage lives.
“The Bible describes the union that comes from marriage as first a departure. But I think this departure is not only from the parents, but also a departure from your own desires and preferences,” Yoo said.
“And I think couples who are preparing to get married need to prepare themselves to become independent, to be willing to take on responsibility, and to leave behind their own preferences,” he added.
As a wedding planner who has coordinated over 200 weddings, Esther Kim focused more on the wedding day itself. When asked what she believes is significant about a wedding, she said, “The wedding day is the time to show gratitude to those who have loved and supported you.”
She went on to share practical aspects to consider for the event. For example, Kim said, she wouldn’t recommend having long programs for the wedding as it loses the attention of the attendees. Even having too many worship songs during the wedding could work against the intention, she said.
Kim advised couples to focus on one or two most important aspects for the wedding day and be willing to “let everything else go and enjoy the day.”
“No wedding is going to be perfect,” she said.
“Time goes by very fast on the day of,” she explained. “I would recommend the couple to just start the morning with prayer, and just enjoy the day.”
Pastor Jonathan Lee moderated the last portion of the seminar, during which he asked three young couples their opinions on the most important aspects of the wedding day, of marriage life, and of having healthy families.
One shared that communication between the couple, and among the family is important to maintain the health of the family. Another shared that sharing the same values and beliefs, and being able to compromise and sacrifice is most important.
Lee emphasized that dreaming together as a family is important.
“Dream together on how you as a family could live happily, and how you can together live for God’s kingdom,” Lee said.