Mi Joo Peace Church "SHEMA" Young Adult Summer Conference "With God's Calling" Features Author Ji-Sun Lee as Speaker
"Night was approaching, and the glass on the veranda showed a reflection of my face. It was not the face that I remembered. However many times I tried to change it in my mind, I could not change the actual reality that that indeed was my new face. One day, tears did not stop flowing from my eyes. "If only I could go back to when I was a 23-year-old college student,' was the only thought that recurred in my mind as I was in despair of my reality. And at that time, there were two options for me. One was going to the roof of my apartment. The other was finding God."
Some write poems with their pens; some write poems on prison walls with coal; some write poems on the walls of corrupted authorities with their blood; but Ji-Sun Lee writes poems with her life. One by one, her pure-hearted remarks become lines of her poems, and enrich the heart of the listener.
During the last week of August, Mi Joo Peace Church held a summer conference with the theme "With God's Calling," targeting young adults who may have lost purpose or direction as they begin a new chapter in their lives. On the second night of the conference, which lasted from the 29th to the 31st, Lee stood in front of these young adults. From her small body came her clear, soft voice, and with it, she explained the terrible accident that happened to her, and how God's plan had enabled her to endure through the pain and despair that came as a result of that accident.
During a time when she felt that her life could not become any worse, a time when she learned, through her pain, that God is all-powerful and sovereign, she prayed what she thought would be her last prayer.
"At that time, it was painful to hear that God was all-powerful and sovereign. I prayed to God but He did not answer. During worship, I prayed with a desperate heart, asking whether He really has a plan when such a terrible thing had happened to me," she said.
"Then the pastor came up to me, saying, "Beloved daughter,' and I heard his voice as the Lord's. "I will raise you up once again in this world. I will use you to bring hope to those who are ill, suffering, and weak.' He did not even tell me that He would be able to restore my face to the way it was before, but simply hearing that He had a plan for me changed my heart."
In order for her to fully accept that she will not be able to have her 23-year-old appearance, to fully accept her own face, she needed courage.
"I began to have courage to face myself in the mirror, thinking, "So this is what my face looks like.' Slowly I began to accept it. Many patients who have facial burns consider suicide because of the drastic difference between their former appearance and the reality of their present appearance."
As she was reflecting on the suffering that Christ had to endure, she was able to hear a word of comfort from the Lord.
"As I was in the hospital room, I honestly felt that Jesus had to endure a suffering that was much worse than mine. While I was meditating on His suffering, I began to think that Jesus did suffer, but perhaps not for such a long duration as I will have to endure. But then I heard Him saying, "I know your pain, fear, and sorrow. I am there with you in your suffering.' And that one word from Him wiped away my tears. I wouldn't trade His word for any amount of money. And I was able to stop the tears that came out of self-pity."
"After completing surgery on my hand, I prayed that I would not be ashamed of my hand, to use it to its fullest for His work. And it has been exactly as I had prayed for. Before I received the surgery, I was able to type on the keyboard with my thumb. So I typed every thought at the moments I had specific thoughts of gratefulness, and that is what came to be the book I was able to publish in 2003. I believe it's a great gift God has given me."
"I received many letters from my readers. One of them told me that although they considered suicide, they now have the desire to live again. God used these scars that seemed useless to bring hope to someone."
As Lee was showing photos that she took during one of her fan meetings, she said, "Before the surgery, the doctor told me that I won't look human, and to not even think of going outside or showing myself to the world. But what the doctor told me was not the truth. God, who is the master of my life, and the director of this film called my life, has given me a promise, and that is to raise me up as a speaker of hope unto the world."
Lee said that she thinks her face is "cute in its own way," and that her bright and optimistic personality is not out of her own strength, but that such a change in her perspective was solely by God's amazing miracle.
"I was able to feel God's love through my mother's love. Just before it reached a year since the accident, I was afraid that the pain from the burn would last until I died. I asked my mother, "If you could trade my life with yours, would you do it?' and she told me, "A thousand times, million times over, I would do it.' And I thought, what would have been God's heart as He sent His only Son to the world? A thousand times, million times over, He wanted to take on our suffering, and with this heart of a parent, He sent His Son."
This author currently helps children with disabilities through the Purme Foundation, and in 2009, she ran 42.195km in a marathon in New York to fundraise for this organization.
"Many use a marathon as a metaphor for life, and as I was running the marathon myself, I understood why. I really didn't know when I was supposed to give up. There were so many times I thought I was going to die. But I realized that death isn't as important. The choice of whether to keep running or stop running, is mine."
"Central Park was the end of the marathon, and towards the entrance of the park, I saw someone holding a picket sign which read "Ji-Sun Lee Fighting!' And all of a sudden, I felt my strides widen and my steps becoming quicker. I realized how much energy one person's support could bring. I decided that I also want to be an individual that brings energy to those who are tired and weary."
Lee currently is studying for a doctoral degree in social work at UCLA, and said that she lives a normal, average life just like everyone else. Lee said she would like to hear people saying that she is walking along God's path when they observe her life.
"As we are waiting for God's answer, He is cleansing us to be a pure vessel to carry His blessings. 11 years ago, someone asked me in an interview, "Do you want to go back in time?' Although 11 years has passed, my answer is the same. I don't want to go back. I realized that what is truly and eternally valuable are the things that aren't seen with the eyes. I wouldn't want to throw away this realization for something that will eventually waste away," she told the young people at the conference.
She further advised them, "Pray that you will discover the truth that does not change in the midst of this changing world."
Mi Joo Peace Church's "SHEMA" young adult group was created for the saving of lost souls of the young adults in Los Angeles, and visits Arizona every summer to minister to Native American children. "SHEMA" also meets the first Saturday of every month for homeless ministry, and holds a yearly conference for Korean international students, during which attendees are able to hear the gospel.
