Sadie Robertson Huff shared about her postpartum struggles after the birth of her firstborn in May.
On her "WHOA That's Good" podcast, Huff discussed about her battle with postpartum anxiety, as well as the resulting physical pain of delivering her daughter, The Christian Post reported.
The star revealed that when she got home from the hospital, she suffered with the worst physical pain she ever felt in her life. The pain was really bad that it made her cry so hard, enduring it for a month.
She also disclosed that during the delivery, the baby got stuck in her pelvic bone for about two minutes. Honey James came through but was not breathing until only several moments after. She said that though she has been "constantly" fighting fear in her life, the mix of "many emotions" during postpartum made it hard for her to overcome it as she usually does, finding herself "in a state of anxiety."
Her analysis of the incident has created so much questions in her mind.
"My mind kept going into the, 'What if this would've happened? What if it did last one more minute and she didn't make it? What if neither one of us made it? What if I lost too much blood? What if when they pushed on my stomach, they actually severely damaged something internally and I don't even know I'm bleeding? What if the oxygen actually did get cut off for too long and she has brain damage?' All of these what-ifs," Huff shared.
She went on to say that her thoughts were causing her anxiety. But she kept the struggle to herself because of the happiness that motherhood has brought her.
"I was so joyful. I was so blown away by the miracles. I didn't understand how I could be so happy and so joyful, but also experience so much fear. You don't have to just choose one of those feelings. You don't have to just choose fear and trade out all the joy. You don't have to just choose joy and trade out all the fear. They actually kind of go hand in hand," she pointed out.
She uncovered that the reason of her anxiety was due to the overwhelming love she has for her child.
"The reason why I was so fearful is because I loved her so much. The reason that I even cared if something happened is because I loved her so much and I was so happy to get to be her mom," she stated.
Huff said that she was only able to share about her struggle with her husband when he caught her crying at the closet. To her surprise, Christian confessed that he also fought anxiety himself after watching her in pain during the delivery of their daughter.
She added that opening about their fear was necessary for both of them as a couple. To recover from anxiety, Huff turned to therapy, journaling and her Christian faith.
Looking back, it occurred to her that fear was actually stealing the "sweetness" of the miracle she had on the birth of their child. Recalling her scary experience, she realized that she needs to be grateful to God for the miracle, adding that gratitude is "shift[ing] the fear in [her] life."
Moreover, she said that being a mother to Honey James and doing it with her husband as a team, are the things she loves which she will never "trade for the world."
"I can't wait to see the times to come. I'm thankful for where we've been, but I'm very excited for where we're going and what we've learned along the journey," she further stated.
According to the Mayo Clinic, childbirth can cause a mix of emotions such as excitement, joy, fear, anxiety and even depression. New mothers also experience postpartum "baby blues," including anxiety, difficulty sleeping, crying spells and mood swings, which usually start two to three days after the delivery and can last for up to two weeks.
However, postpartum depression lasts longer, which needs immediate treatment for the proper management of symptoms.
The Cleveland Clinic says that the treatments for this type of depression include psychotherapy, anti-anxiety or antidepressant medicines and support group participation.