Jackie Hill Perry, a former lesbian turned believer of God and now a wife and a mother of 4, recently warned Christians from dating non-believers.
In their latest podcast, With The Perrys, the Bible teacher and author alongside her husband discussed the topic of dating, where both shared bits of advice for single Christians about dating according to one's "type", dating non-believers, waiting for "the one" and waiting until marriage.
Both husband and wife agreed in proclaiming that "it is "dangerous" to be unequally yoked and urged singles to wait on God," as Christian Post reported.
This caution comes from the Word of God, with the Bible saying in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers," and from the complications the married couple has encountered from their past relationships.
Perry shared that during the beginning of her Christian faith, she felt there was this need to be in a relationship with a guy, thinking that it will make her "more straight" and more worthy having just turned her back from homosexuality to choosing God.
Before meeting her husband in 2014, she recalled a phone conversation with a man who was getting her permission to have premarital sex with him. She ended the conversation by ending the relationship, telling him that waiting before marriage is a non-negotiable in her Christian faith.
She said that men like that stay around long enough because they think that one day, she will give in eventually but she already has this powerful revelation that people who do not give importance to purity by abstaining from sexual sin do not have a renewed mind, and she does not have the time and energy, and does not want to, to convince them about "why the Lord is Lord of your body."
Her husband also recounted having dating partners who were unwilling to abstain from sex until marriage and follow what the Bible says.
He shared about a relationship with a girl who was not a Christian, which did not work out because it was difficult for the two of them to stay pure, and though he liked her a lot, he decided to break up with her because he chose holiness over disobedience to the Lord.
Single Christians Should Not Just Settle
The poet and speaker expressed that she knows being single is not at all easy, plus when one is a Christian, it becomes doubly hard. Thus, so many single Christians rush ahead of God and just settle for non-believers, thinking that if they open up their world to non-Christians, they will have more options.
She then emphasized that instead of more options, single Christians who cannot wait for godly partners are actually facing more dangers and problems.
"I think for a Christian to intentionally choose someone who doesn't know Jesus because of whatever reason, I think you're probably not weighing ... all of the spiritual implications and all of the difficulties that that might bring," she stated.
John Piper once said that if one is on the path to falling in love with and marrying someone who is "outside the Lord," he or she is on the path to disobeying the Word of God.
Aside from the temptation and possibility of impurity, getting into premarital sex, and living a life that is not pleasing to the Lord, Perry believes that being unequally yoked can also lead to unhealthy marriages where couples fight over their beliefs and children are confused over what and who to believe.
More so, she cited instances like when it's time to pray or to fast about something serious, it will be hard to do it with one's partner. "You're going to want to be with somebody who knows Jesus," she strongly advised.
Perry believes that God has the power to save a non-believing partner but she threw the following questions: What if God doesn't? If He does, what if it does not happen in the believer's time? What if the other person just does not allow God to work through him or her? The risk is not worth it if one will just be" stuck with somebody who can hold you down spiritually," or be a part of something that can be a hindrance to one's journey with the Lord. Thus, It is crazily important who to marry.
"Marriage is a union of the deepest kind. It is meant to be a union of soul. There can't be any deep union of soul if two people have different supreme treasures, one Christ and another something in creation. There is a deep disunion from the outset," Piper explained in a nutshell.
Waiting On God Is Key
Perry then suggested a change of heart.
"It is some crazy faith to get with somebody in the hopes that they will one day become Christian when there is no promise from God that that may or may not happen. Why not have that same faith that if God can save them, then God can actually provide you someone that's already saved?" Perry proclaimed.
She went on to say that it is very much possible that the partners God has for single Christians are out there somewhere and are already saved, but how can God orchestrate their love stories if they are busy with people who are not good for them? God gives the best rewards to those who wait. Patience with God is key.
Perry concluded with a reminder that the waiting season is a protection and not a punishment from the Lord, that in the season of singleness, God has not left them, they are never alone.
Related Article: How Different? Christian Dating vs. Worldly Dating