Men are now coming to the surface and engaging in the conversation on abortion, with one of them warning others not to commit the same mistake.
A man from East County, Christian Cordon, wrote an op-ed in The San Diego Union Tribune last June 20 in the hope of preventing others from experiencing the pain of abortion. Cordon disclosed that he was in his 20s when he and his girlfriend then both agreed to abort the baby, which was in the first trimester of pregnancy. He highlighted not having any recollection of his emotional state at that time except having mixed emotions.
A Painful Mistake
Cordon said he was joyful when he first learned of the pregnancy but had no inkling of what it meant to have a child. He admitted being unprepared for a child out of being immature, lacking motivation, and drinking habits. He shared that his only memory of his former girlfriend's pregnancy was her food cravings.
Then the pressure of having a child amidst his circumstances and self-doubt eventually caught up with him. He said he was not doing well in school and his girlfriend, who lived with him at home, was regularly in conflict with his father. He was also regularly bombarded with messages that he could not have the child.
"Although I had supportive parents who financially were in a place to help me out, the worries of being able to raise a child with my broken life weighed on me...We somehow decided to have an abortion," Cordon said.
Cordon explained that he could not remember the process involved that led to that decision. He could not recall any conversation he had with his former girlfriend on the matter. He also did not feel comfortable discussing the matter with his parents for fear of getting in trouble for not using a condom.
What he could remember, Cordon said, was driving his girlfriend to a private hospital where the abortion was conducted. He stressed remembering the “pain” and how much they both “cried” after the abortion.
Cordon admitted that he continued living a risky sex life after the abortion. This went on before he finally broke up with his girlfriend. He emphasized that he and his girlfriend never spoke about the abortion since it happened. It had actually taken him years to process what had taken place.
"Although it still hurts that I do not have the gift of a child in my life, I have experienced much healing through an active search to reconcile this choice. Through sharing my story, I hope that others do not make the same mistake I made," Cordon concluded.
Faithwire raised that Cordon's disclosure comes in the face of various personalities encouraging men to speak up about abortion, such as New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. The representative claimed men, including Republican pro-life congressmen, benefited from abortion. She stressed that men's power matters, especially in a post-Roe America.
Men Not Feeling Heard On Abortion
Coincidentally, the op-ed was published after The New York Times launched a program in mid-May asking men to submit stories regarding their experience with abortion. The stories were published on June 25, a day after Roe v. Wade was overturned by the United States Supreme Court. The national publication revealed that hundreds of men participated in their program and shared stories on both sides of the abortion issue.
Theo Purington, a 37-year-old Florida salesman, was among those who submitted a story. Purington similarly lamented the opportunity he lost in becoming a father, which happened when he was in college after learning his girlfriend was pregnant.
Purington immediately expressed his desire to keep full custody of the child by taking a job while finishing school but the girl persistently wanted an abortion. The Catholic recalled that he felt helpless after failing to convince his girlfriend to keep the child. He shared that he tried one more time to change her mind the night before the abortion but she sternly said no.
"So I kissed her stomach and I said, 'Daddy loves you and I'll see you in heaven,'" Purington said.
That devastating experience led him to seek solace in his Catholic faith and eventually open two crisis pregnancy centers-one in New Mexico and another in Florida. The pregnancy centers provide women the option to "keep the baby" and put them up for adoption afterward. The women are also provided with all the support they need during and after pregnancy.
"We don't just say 'choose life' and send them on their way," Purington explained.
According to New York Times, men on both sides of the abortion issue often do not feel heard. Life Issues Institute President Bradley Mattes told the media outlet that men are often told they either support their partner's decision or simply "get out of the way." Mattes underscored "that needs to change."