In a six-minute video released by 99.1 Joy FM last week, Christian recording artist TobyMac shared the journey of change he experienced when he lost his 21-year-old son, Truett Foster McKeehan, in 2019.
CBN News reported the tragic incident, which accidentally happened on October 23, 2019 due to drug overdose at their Nashville home in Tennessee, changed TobyMac's life forever. TobyMac revealed in the video the process of healing he and his family continue to undergo for the untimely loss of his son.
In the video, 57-year-old TobyMac began by sharing how the grief he felt when his son died seemed never to have left him and would return in "waves." TobyMac said he didn't know what grief was until his son died and since then "everything changed" for him.
"To me, grief comes in waves. Some days it hits you really hard. Other days, I can't say it's ever stayed off of me but I can't say that it hasn't beat me up some days. Let's put it like that," TobyMac said.
"It comes in waves and you know, the truth is, I didn't know grief really. I just felt like everything was beautiful and perfect until the last few years. And then when I lost Truett or when we lost Truett, everything changed. I met grief in the fiercest way," he added.
TobyMac said that besides finally understanding what grief is, he also started thinking about life after death that he also did not do before. The early demise of his son felt like a "rip off" initially to him until his perception of Heaven changed differently. He also revealed that after some time he started laughing again but never as deep as before and something he doesn't know he'll ever do again until eternity.
TobyMac recalled an incident before his son died when he met a man in Austin, Texas who owned a golf course that he was asked to play in. The golf course owner relayed to him that he lost his son suddenly and how holding on to God's promise helped him through. TobyMac said that incident, looking at it after his son died, felt like it was preparing him for what he would experience.
"When I went and played with him, he told me he lost his son, and he told me all about it, a car accident. It was really interesting. He told me a few things that were like preparing me kind of-and I'm not trying to overthink this thing. But you know he told me that when you go through something hard, you have to grab onto something you can trust. His thing was to grab onto a promise of God, this he told me after because he called me," TobyMac recounted.
"He said you want to grab onto a promise of God, but just make sure you grab onto something God really promised us because when we're in the darkest valley, we might grab onto something that God didn't promise at all. Make sure--you might grab onto something like, 'I shouldn't be facing loss.' or 'God's good and this shouldn't be happening on earth.' But he said that's not the promises of God. God promised us that He will never leave us or forsake us, that's what He promised us," he continued.
TobyMac said that this things the man told him was the same thing he held onto-the reality that God will not "take away the cold" but that He will be with us despite the suffering we undergo. This reality, he said, was the greatest learning He could get from his experience of grief since He never knew God will stay with us in the dark valley until he himself experienced it.
"So through what I've experienced in the grief, I've experienced what I've walked through--the raging storm, the deepest valley. I just feel like I didn't know God stayed close in those times, but I've learned that He does. I really have," TobyMac stressed.
In ending, TobyMac raised how important counseling, the support of his community, the compassion and love people from all over through social media have sent him and his family helped greatly in making him truly experience "the Body of Christ as it should be."